writing

How Time Passes

I’m looking back on my posts and realizing I haven’t written in almost two months. It’s quite amazing how quickly times passes when life is full of work, kids, housework, grocery shopping, trying to stay in shape and extra-curricular outings. Trying to find time to write has been almost impossible. Even etching out 15 minutes has been a chore. I want to write… it’s on my mind all the time, yet I find myself asking the question, “Do I procrastinate?” Sure I do… but I also acknowledge that sometimes a busy family life needs to take precedence over self-indulgence.

When time passes so quickly the day is over in a blink of an eye, when do I write? My mind refuses to think the closer to midnight it gets and 6 o’clock comes early – a night owl, I am not. Mornings are chaotic, evenings are full of driving the kids to their activities or just finding enough energy to make supper. By the time I get a minute to myself, the last thing I want to do is dig out my characters lives and try to solve their problems.

A friend of mine is blocking days of the week on her calendar to write. I think I might give that a try as well. Perhaps not actual days, but hours on certain days. It’s a start… or another beginning… I’ve tried to solve this problem before, but life is always throwing something different my way and each new adventure calls for a different approach.

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Does Time Heal?

Does time heal sorrow and pain? I’ve been asking myself this a lot lately. It’s been over a month since Chloe passed away and understandably the first two weeks were very hard. As the days slipped past, the crying stopped and I was able to talk about her without bursting into tears. But the last few days I slipped backwards and the sadness overtook me again. I remember holding her and comforting her during the end, saying goodbye and the guilt. Was there anything I could have done? Why her? Oh, the list goes on.

I try to think of all the funny things she did, as mentioned in my previous poem – Remember the Good, but sometimes that has me crying just as much.

Does time heal? I hope so…

writing

Dealing with Sorrow II – A poem

In my previous post I mentioned writing a poem about all the funny and quirky things that Chloe did. Well, I’ve decided to share it with you now.

Remember the Good
By: Tricia Saxby

How do you fill the void of a good friend gone?
Someone who shared her life with you the instant you walked in the door.
How do you release all the sorrow that consumes you whole?
You remember the good.

Sitting in the middle of the bed as I tried to change the bed sheets.
Helping me get ready in the morning with chirps and kisses.
Sleeping at the end of my bed to keep my feet warm at night.
You remember the good.

Hiding under the laundry basket playing peek-a-boo.
Sitting on my lap each morning with a bowl of cereal.
Waiting patiently in the kitchen window for when I get home so we could bonk heads and greeting me at the door when I step inside.
You remember the good.

Sitting on my lap while I work on my novel.
Kissing her so soft eyes.
Sitting beside me at my writing desk while I check my mail.
You remember the good.

Playing fetch with her mouse – and actually bringing it back!
How she always had to see my face while I lay in bed.
How she always came when I called her name.
You remember the good.

Wrestling with Oreo before mealtime.
Sitting in the Christmas tree.
Rubbing her belly.
You remember the good.

She liked to eat apples and loved tin foil balls.
Was obsessed with the plant water globe and taking the registers out of the floor.
She loved to cuddle with me, especially in the mornings.
You remember the good.

She would always greet me when I opened the bedroom door first thing in the morning.
She enjoyed chasing Tetris flies.
Sunbathing on the spots of sunshine on the kitchen floor.
You remember the good.

How she always had to push the water dish closer to her.
Loved running tap water from the bathroom sink.
Liked Gimli’s big dog bed more than he did.
You remember the good.

Loved to lick plastic.
Enjoyed sitting amongst the cereal boxes in the food pantry.
Liked to watch me vacuum.
You remember the good.

Of course she loved tuna, and was quite verbal about it too.
She made funny chirping sounds.
And liked to sit in boxes, on bags or baskets.
You remember the good.

Every time Chris made a sniffing sound she would chirp at him and go sit on his lap to knead.
How she yelled when my laptop talked.
“Hanging out at the water hole.”
You remember the good.

No matter where she was upstairs, she always came running when I filled the water bowl.
If I yelled or raised my voice, she would run up to me and chirp until I picked her up.
She was the oldest and the boss – and Gimli knew it.
You remember the good.

It has been so hard doing the everyday things we used to do together.
I sit here on the bed looking at the spot where she usually slept and my heart hurts.
Oh Chloe, how I’ll miss you.
My baby.
My Angel Fluff.
I remember the good.

writing

Dealing with Sorrow

Dealing with sorrow is something we can’t get away from. Whether it be a family member or a pet (my pets are my kids too) but no matter what, we need to deal with the pain and each person does it differently.

I am currently mourning the death of my cat, Chloe. She was my baby, and my daily companion.

I took solace in writing a poem about all the wonderful, quirky, funny things Chloe did each and every day. She had such a unique personality, and I am finding that all the everyday things like getting ready in the morning or crawling into bed at night are the hardest things to do without her there to share it with.

Its only been four days and the pain is still fresh but I know with time I will heal and have only happy memories.

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Merry Christmas

I hope everyone had a nice, relaxing Christmas. Mine was quiet, and I must say this year, I was happy.

Over the years, as the kids got older, I found myself unable to get into the holiday spirit. It seemed all that mattered was how many presents were under the tree, and with all the hype that goes into shopping for that perfect gift, the Christmas season flew by and the day was over. Pouf! For what? Kids that won’t tear themselves away from a video game or they’re so bored they complain endlessly.

It’s time to remember what the real meaning of Christmas is all about. It’s about family and friends and spending quality time with them. It’s about donating to the food bank or your favorite charity. Helping others who are less fortunate and can’t afford a turkey dinner or to get their children a gift for under the tree.

It’s a time to put ourselves on the back burner and offer our time and services to those who need it most.

I think Christmas at our house next year will be a bit busier…

writing

Work or Play

Now in no way do I consider my writing play, but compared to my “real life” jobs that actually pay the bills, I have to think along those lines sometimes.

As I am getting my manuscript ready to go out to agents all I want to do is stay at home and write. It’s my passion and I love doing it. It makes me happy and I get excited just thinking about it.

But then the real world interferes with these plans throwing in timed schedules, work hours and family obligations. I love spending time with my family and they know how important my writing is to me and they give me the time needed to get some work done, but my “job” which has lost all of its luster, waits for me, like a bad headache, to monopolize all my time.

Which makes finding time to write so precious. Find it when you can. If you need peace and quiet lock yourself in your room or office if you’re lucky enough to have one. Wait until the kids to go school and let the housework and laundry sit for a few hours. Don’t let the distractions of a clean and orderly life keep you from finding time to write.

That used to be my excuse, but not anymore. Even if it’s only half an hour or fifteen minutes, getting anything down on paper will keep the creative juices flowing.

Right now I have an hour to write before I go to work so off I go…

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A Busy Month for Birthdays

For my family and friends, September has so many birthdays in it I don’t know how I keep track. And are they nicely spread apart -no! My niece, mom-in-law, son, brother, friend and friend’s son all in a week time span. I’m sure there’s more but it is so hard to keep count.
Sigh.
Let’s just say Facebook and ecards have saved me.